Proverbs 17
I am fascinated by how many of my childhood idols are falling from grace. Most recently Michael Jackson and R. Kelly, but the list goes on to include Bill Cosby, Lance Armstrong, OJ Simpson, Tiger Woods, Dustin Diamond and others.
Verse 9 caught my attention in today’s reading. “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” But at what point do we expose sin and wrongful behavior, and when do we cover offenses? Is there a threshold or line of evil that one must cross before we expose them?
In my years of life and ministry I have concluded that the rare and awful situations are not where the need for forgiveness and “cover in love” is most acute. To me, forgiveness is most needed with those we do life with every day, the intimate relationships we often take for granted. When we understand that at some level we are all flawed, hurt, wounded and in need of forgiveness, it frees us to open our hearts and become emotionally vulnerable with each other. Understanding our own need for forgiveness enables us to more readily forgive those who have wronged us.
Forgiveness is an attribute of love. The more we love, the more we will need to forgive. And in order to sustain love, we will need to grow in forgiveness (1 Peter 4:8). Overlooking an offense does not negate justice. It doesn’t mean we turn a blind eye to sin or pretend that evil doesn’t exist. It means we are willing to forgive, especially when the offense is directed toward us. It means we refuse to hold grudges, and we choose to not become bitter or resentful.
Blessings,
Pastor Adrian
Verse 9 caught my attention in today’s reading. “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” But at what point do we expose sin and wrongful behavior, and when do we cover offenses? Is there a threshold or line of evil that one must cross before we expose them?
In my years of life and ministry I have concluded that the rare and awful situations are not where the need for forgiveness and “cover in love” is most acute. To me, forgiveness is most needed with those we do life with every day, the intimate relationships we often take for granted. When we understand that at some level we are all flawed, hurt, wounded and in need of forgiveness, it frees us to open our hearts and become emotionally vulnerable with each other. Understanding our own need for forgiveness enables us to more readily forgive those who have wronged us.
Forgiveness is an attribute of love. The more we love, the more we will need to forgive. And in order to sustain love, we will need to grow in forgiveness (1 Peter 4:8). Overlooking an offense does not negate justice. It doesn’t mean we turn a blind eye to sin or pretend that evil doesn’t exist. It means we are willing to forgive, especially when the offense is directed toward us. It means we refuse to hold grudges, and we choose to not become bitter or resentful.
Blessings,
Pastor Adrian
Posted in Proverbs Challenge
7 Comments
Pastor Adrian, your comments meant as much to me as Proverbs 17. I believe forgiveness is an every day thing and in many cases it is based on our attitude. If we have a forgiving attitude, things that could offend us don't. When the barista is rude, when the salesman is inattentive, when the other guy cuts us off in traffic or goes slow in the passing lane (ahem).....we don't get angry. Our forgiving attitude prevents it. My faith has really helped me to be better in this area. There are characteristics that take a lot of work to improve, and there are some that are relatively easy. I think fixing the "easy" ones is important because it establishes the pattern of trying......er, I mean training to be better in Christ.
Robyn, If you asked me that question, I'd say, "She closes one eye". :-D
I so agree, (I still struggle , strongly, at times with the slow guy in the fast lane. LOL) but for the most part I've found my constant forbearance has given me peace over much that I used to struggle with. Advice I got when I asked how this person's marriage lasted so long, I was told "I close one eye"... I've never forgotten. I'm detail oriented in many ways, so this was a gold nugget for me!
Robyn, If you asked me that question, I'd say, "She closes one eye". :-D
In hindsight, I should have used examples relating to people we "do life with" every day instead of strangers. It would have been more in line with Pastor Adrian's point and I believe would have made my point more effectively.
Thanks for the great insights Adrian and Mike. Another verse in this chapter aligns well with what you have said: "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity."
â€â€Proverbs‬ â€17‬:â€17‬ â€NIV‬‬
True friends love you at all times, even when you are not at your best. A true friend's love is not based on your performance, but because they value you as a person. A true friend is there for you in the middle of adversity, when you may not be the most pleasant person to be around. Friends like this are few and far between, because we are weak, frail, human beings who often fail to be everything God is calling us to be.
Thank the Lord that all of us who are believers have at least one true friend: Jesus, who loves us at all times and is there for us in every situation, regardless of our "performance." Lord, help me to be more like you and to be a true friend to those in my relational circle!
The verse that stood out to me in this chapter was v22: a cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
I LOVE that a cheerful heart is equated to medicine. We always feel better after being in the presence of someone who is light and bright. It is good medicine!
Andrea, that is so true. I think being around those type of people is always helpful. And I also feel like we can be those type of people!! Cheerfulness or joy is an attitude we can chose despite circumstances. I acknowledge that is hard but the alternative is dry bones. I would rather chose joy and if that leads to someone wanting to be around me and in my presence- that's an added bonus.