Proverbs 12
“Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.” Have you ever heard that proverb? Sounds good, right? Yet, as I think of Jesus and some of the people He rolled with, the proverb falls apart. Verse 26, says the righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. (NIV) What does it mean to choose your friends wisely? I often wonder if I have chosen my friends wisely. I realize friendship relationships can be complex and have many layers, yet often it boils down to a simple “give and take.” What do you give and what do you take from your relationships?
My litmus test for choosing friends is as follows: “What can I become by having these people in my life? What can they become by having me in their life?” This frees me to have friends that I invest in as well as friends that invest in me. I believe a healthy entourage has both.
How do you pick friends?
Blessings,
Pastor Adrian
My litmus test for choosing friends is as follows: “What can I become by having these people in my life? What can they become by having me in their life?” This frees me to have friends that I invest in as well as friends that invest in me. I believe a healthy entourage has both.
How do you pick friends?
Blessings,
Pastor Adrian
Posted in Proverbs Challenge
3 Comments
I agree, Pastor Adrian. I have heard it said that you are the sum of the five people closest to you. That may be a bit simplistic, but there is a lot of truth to it. Ideally, our closest relationships will be with people who build us up, who encourage us and inspire us. However, we can't go to the other extreme and have no relationships with unbelievers, otherwise we lose much of our ability to have impact.
On a related note, one of the most powerful verses in this chapter for me, is verse 18, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Not only am I to use discretion in choosing my closest friends, but I am also to guard my tongue, so that I am the kind of supportive, encouraging, inspiring friend that I want others to be to me.
Solomon likens reckless words to being pierced like a sword. That is a powerful metaphor for the destruction that our words can cause. Instead we are enjoined to be wise and to speak words of healing.
Growing up in the same town my whole life, I never had to work so hard to gain friends. Sometimes friends are circumstantial (work at the same place, go to school at the same time, have kids the same age, participate in the same sports)... and if you are really blessed, you will have friends who are unconditional.
Before attending Journey, I had my old friends. Some were Christian and some were not. After my husband and I gave our entire family to Christ, I realized the importance of the fellowship with other Christians. This is not to say that I have left my friends who's are not fully following Christ, but that it has to take a different route and I'm very cautious. Cautious with activities we do, cautious over conversations we have, and cautious over advice they provide.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals."
2 Timothy 2:24-26
And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, table to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
We aren't to snob our noses to the unbelievers but we also must be crucially careful on who we have a relationship with.
I am drawn to people who struggling and feel hopeless. Why? Because I can use my personal experiences or upbringings to point others to hope, the hope of Jesus Christ and His salvation for man kind.
Proverbs 12 is very much of two contrasts. Righteousness and wickedness. It's very black and white. No gray here! May we always strive to put God first in all our ways so we have obtain the wisdom from our Heavenly Father. No earthly wisdom can bring us the eternal hope Christian's have.
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another.
I hope you don't mind Pastor Adrian, I screen shot your words!! I love this way to see how to choose the people you surround yourself with... I not too long ago settled on inside circle of friends vs outside circle of friends not wanting to cut anyone from my life. Sometimes you have to cut people from your life...
Thank you for sharing!!